Happy and Not

I was happy to see her again;

I wasn’t so happy to see her again,

Especially when he went her way.

Her way, “Why did she have to go back, anyway?”

 

*2009

Haunted

Just a little empty joke and it comes rushing back. Not even slowly, but recklessly swift with a promise that it’ll hit every corner of my fragile side.

And then I hear it, that satisfied, vicious laugh for it got its desired effect again. And my heart, oh, that poor little thing, it can’t even do something, anything, though it has been yearning to jump off my chest and run away from it all.

It’s always like that–I get long moments of bliss, then one day, it’ll suddenly slap me. Hard. Hard and proud.

It’ll happen again in the next days. It will.
 
 
When will this end, this fluctuation of emotions?

Stop… Stop… Stop…

Pain is vital, but I don’t want even a single thing about this anymore.
 
 
—–
 
In time, I’ll be able to stand up. And when I do, I’ll be taller and definitely stronger than before.