Independence

Funny how there are some writings I made in the past that I can’t remember what it was about or even who it was for now. 

Today, I got to see my past notes on the default Notes app of Apple after I got myself an Apple gadget again after years of turning to Android gadgets. When I opened the said app, there it was, this poem I entitled “Independence”. I get the faintest feeling I can remember what or for whom it was all about, but that’s the closest I can get to it. But I guess this just proves that there are still a lot of things that can be forgiven and forgotten, with enough time given to be healed by whatever it is that made us hurt or angry. 

Anyway, here it is, a poem I recovered after some time…

I resist the chains,
I refuse to be bounded.
I belong to myself,
And nobody else.

I’ll do what I want,
And whenever I want.
This life is mine,
And yours is yours.

So don’t you chain me,
And even bound me.
Eat your jealousy,
That bullish feeling.

Such don’t touch me,
Only makes me mad.
If you don’t want me gone,
Better know your place.

Masquerade

Phony smiles,
Fake hellos,
Hidden smirks…
I flinched at the sight.

Blithe parlance,
Pleasant facades,
Ostentations…
Hypocrisy’s the theme.

Flamboyant gaits,
Faux applauds,
Ulterior motives…
“Only the fit survive.”

Realization dawned on me…
I must join the masquerade.

 

*2007

But then there was that moment

Fountain is dancing to the beat and I watch it cheerfully.
It sways to the left, right, and into my shallow hilarity.
I never laughed that way to such, there must be some magic to it.
And so, it waves here and there, and I, giggling from ear to ear.

Fountain is dancing to the beat and I watch it cheerfully.
I almost tumble and get lost in it with sheer delight,
Until I glance at you, and you’re beaming nowhere but at me.
Has anyone told you that you look the cutest with that smile?

Fountain is dancing to the beat and I watch it cheerfully.
I turn to it again, yet I desire more glimpse of your face.
I peek at you once more and get an unfaltering effect.
What’s wrong with you? I think, but everything feels so goddamn right.

Fountain is dancing to the beat and I watch it cheerfully.
It’s a spectacle, yes, yet something else steals my attention.
If only I can stare back at you and still get that same look,
God, I will do anything to make Father Time freeze the moment!

I remember the fountain danced and I watched it cheerfully.
Looking back, you might be grinning ‘cause I was too petty.
But, heck, who cares if for that I got extremely gratified,
I can insult my intelligence for more rounds of that.

And now…

Fountain may dance once more and I can watch it cheerfully.
But you smiling right at my side may never happen again.
After the tears and hurtful words that ruined us and our trust,
‘least there’re happy moments like this that I can cherish in mind.

*June 2012