Silver

Photo grabbed from http://yusper.tumblr.com

Photo grabbed from yusper.tumblr.com

This day marks the beginning of my 25th year–my quarter life, supposing I get to live ’til I’m 100. But am I entering some crisis? Nah. With this silver year shimmering right in front of me, why should I be?

Quarter-life crisis is a period in mid-20s when most people feel confused, depressed, scared, and lost. They feel so because they’re at the age when they’re supposed to be adults but don’t have any ideas where they currently are or where their lives would lead them.

It is the time to panic if you have yet established anything significant, and honestly, I somehow felt it at the start of 2013, when I realized that I’ll be getting a year older in a few months. But then the optimist in me kicked in and made me take advantage of the feeling and turn panic into anticipation of good things and experiences, and my 25th year as the starting point of my everything. My thoughts went, I am simply in the middle of my 20s, the decade when it is normal to get bruises, scratches, and even long stitches here and there, so why worry? Just enjoy the trek at the forest and never forget to pick up necessary lessons and bring them to the future.

 

Silver Goals

I stopped making big plans back in college when the carefully laid-out goals my teenage self created for myself crumbled due to some unavoidable decisions of the higher ups. I used to live in organization and precision, like after I graduate at this month of the year, I MUST take some rest for a month before finally going full-force looking for my perfect job and all. I wrote them in my planner, and I was the strict type that when I write something, they must come true the way I wanted them to. But I guess I wasn’t flexible at 19 so because of what happened, I threw my goals away and simply lived with whatever that came my way, anyway, plans were uncontrollable and could be taken away from me instantly.

I lived like that for a few years, just accepting whatever destiny showered me with. I got the good ones, mind you, which proved Lewis Carroll’s quote: “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there”, and I made sure that I was accompanied by God along the way.

But somehow, I knew that a journey isn’t worth all the sweat and exhaustion without any clear aspirations to grasp. So for my 25th year, I decided to give planning another shot. I am certain I’m a grown-up now and I believe I can handle hindrances better and I won’t end up doing tantrums when my goals get disheveled again. And when I say plans, I mean realistic plans, those I know I can reach considering what I have in my grips right now.

Goal #1:
Save enough money for a house (with my dream private library in it,  of course)

Photo grabbed from my unfinished projectmacoi365.tumblr.com

The Reyes Residence. Photo grabbed from my unfinished projectmacoi365.tumblr.com

This is no real rush, but I know I have what it takes to make this possible by the age of 30. I have a talent for saving money, in fact, my father used to remark that I would be rich in the future because of this ability. I am also on my way to my first year in my career as a researcher and though my salary isn’t exactly bombastic, with my abovementioned talent, I can save with what it gives me little by little without sacrificing a few luxuries I have come to live with, except perhaps for my dream of travelling outside Metro Manila yearly. I have a pending application for a part-time job, too, for this. The pay isn’t going to be big, in fact, it’s too low, but I think it’s a good start for freelancing, and if I won’t be accepted, I can look for other companies that can accept what I can offer.

Goal #2:
Open new career paths for myself

I’ve always wanted to be a little bit of everything. Right now, I’m a researcher, blogger, and writer, but I want my Linkedin headline to contain the careers, Researcher, Blogger, Freelance Writer, and Voice Talent. The part-time job I was referring to in my Goal #1 is the freelance writing, and when it comes to being a voice talent, I know that I already possess a good voice for it, it has already been a dream since grade school, and now I already found a company that does workshops for voice/speech every quarter and I would be enrolling for its July batch. It’s a bit expensive, but I’m aware that we have to invest if we want something. Hopefully, the company can help me start a career with voice acting, which will also help in my Goal #1.

Goal #3:
A lovelife!

At the beginning 2013, a friend told me that according to a feng shui expert, those born in the Year of the Dragon will be lucky in the love department this year, and not that I take it as something divine, but it got me thinking, maybe it’s time, maybe it’s time. But the thing is, being lucky in this may mean two things: either I’ll be able to find my soulmate and we’ll live happily ever after (ho-ho-ho!), or I’ll stay single and be saved from the heartaches and annoyance of being in a relationship (well, well, well). The latter is still a luck in the love department, right? Either way, I’ll be elated to embrace whatever the outcome is at the end of my silver year. But what are the necessary steps am I taking to find out which way I’m going with this? You’ll find out later. 😉

Goal #4:
Know how to cook a lot of recipes

At YakiMix at The Podium, Pasig City (Photo grabbed from Boss Deth Alegre)

At YakiMix at The Podium, Pasig City (Photo grabbed from Boss Deth Alegre)

I love food! I can eat non-stop as long as there’s food in front me. But one day I thought, a good eater isn’t enough, I must also be a good cook for fairness’ sake. And since I’m already making a goal list for my 25th year, I decided to make cooking part of it. Actually, this plan should’ve started in October 2012 when I got interested in the Pasta recipe book we have at home, but laziness took over so it always got moved.

Anyway, I think this time around is the perfect time to really, really start it ’cause as I said above, I’m making my 25th year as the starting point of my everything. And as a warm-up for this, I’ve already tried cooking thrice (Cooking at YakiMix wasn’t included because it wasn’t proper cooking) before this big year of mine to test if I should continue with it or not. I even created the food sub-category Project Cocina de Camilla in this blog to document my progress in cooking. So far, I’m doing okay and I’m looking forward to more recipes to learn how to cook.

 

#beforeiturn25

Speaking of warm-ups, I had three mini goals I created at the start of February 2013 to get myself ready for my silver year. The list, called Only 3 But Big Things! #beforeiturn25,  was posted at the sidebar of WoH. My original plan was to have five goals, but because of time constraint, I decided to cut it down to three, anyway, it was just a warm-up. I consider them all a success, by the way.

A widget at WoH's sidebar posted from mid-February 2013

A widget at WoH’s sidebar posted since February 2013

1. Do something remarkable and heart-warming.

This idea alone was what inspired me to make a pre-silver year goal list, meaning it was supposed to be only one, but I thought, hey, it’ll be more fun if there’s more, and can you believe it, I almost failed at this. The “remarkable and heart-warming” act I was originally referring to there was reconnecting with someone whose bridges with me I had decidedly burned a year ago due to a problem we got caught up with. I thought this was nice since I already began asking someone close to her how this person was doing and I was constantly mentioning her whenever I talked to another person very close to her. But then I realized that the next steps would be to crawl back to her, beg her for forgiveness, and make peace with her in my sweetest way possible. It may sound easy but just an imagination of what would happen humiliate me. I wasn’t the only one at fault and I don’t want to think of her triumphant reaction when I do that successfully, so I scrapped the idea altogether.

I substituted it instead with forgiving every person that hurt me the past year (Which included her, anyway) so I could welcome my 25th year with more positivity. I also believe that changing it to this was way better because it concerned not only one person but more than three. Yes, it also included that co-worker from another department who got angry with me and raged at my back for being too silent and failing to entertain her like it was part of my job description.

Forgiving is never easy especially for me who once I forgive, I completely forget everything that happened, which then exposes me to the repetition of the pain. So I until now I have to balance forgiveness with not forgetting to save myself–that I believe I can manage. Right now, I still don’t talk to this colleague, but at least, I don’t feel any grudge anymore whenever I see her. It’s like we just don’t know each other, and again, I think it’s better.

2. Finally embrace the fact that I’m just like everyone else and realize that I. NEED. IT.

Q:  What’s gonna happen to our love lives according to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? (You ask and you open a page and point to something.)A: “What is that?” he heard her say.

Q: What’s gonna happen to our love lives according to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? (You ask and you open a page and point to something.)
A: “What is that?” he heard her say.

It was love I was referring to there.

In 2011, my thoughts about love was this (Click here.), and after almost two years, I’m on my way to thinking the other way around. Okay, but did I succeed in this goal now that today’s the deadline, you ask?  Uhhh… Can I get an extension?

It’s a never-ending internal battle for me. Sometimes, when I get lonely and whenever there’s an event or place I want to go to but none of my friends are available, I think of finally searching for a boyfriend, but then I am reminded of a quote that says, “Love when your ready, not when you’re lonely.” So I try to deal with my loneliness by making myself busy with getting ready for any potential relationships, but in the process I realize I enjoy solitude more, the singleness, the freedom, and everything I do alone. So what happens is I get lonely, I try to get ready, but I never get there. Nice.

But I guess all those times I spent since February thinking, conditioning myself, and reading books and Internet posts about love paid off because “A lovelife!” made it to my silver year goal list (Please see above). Yey! LOL. I just don’t know what my reaction would be when I’m actually there. XD

3. HEY! That couple-of-months-late pasta. Remember? LOL.

This was a cinch. It only got moved often because I was either too lazy or preoccupied with other stuff. Anyway, what’s important is I was able to do it a couple of days before the deadline, and if you want to know what kind of pasta it was and how it was, watch out for it one or two posts from this one, it’s part of my Project Cocina de Camilla. 😛

 

As they say, prevention is better than cure, and maybe this move of making goals for myself is my way of evading a possible quarter-life crisis. So now I’m on my quarter life minus the crisis part. How cool is that? I’ve never been this excited about my birthday! I’m getting older? So what? At least my maturity doesn’t get left behind my age. I just hope and pray I get to reach all my goals in God’s perfect time. 🙂

 

FYI: The exact time I turned 25 this day was at 11:20am. :3

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