Lovin’ the Right Way with Kuya Kevin’s Book

Basta Lovelife (Kuya Kevin)

My closest friends have found my battered heart on the ground some time ago. And while most of them showed support and gave me honest opinions and advices about it, my college buddy coupled hers with a book called Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions by Kuya Kevin, an American pastor/minister and blogger living in the Philippines for a decade now.

It just got buried on my pile of unread books, though, ’cause I was too busy both with adjusting to my new work and with helping myself stand up again. And besides, there’s that term “lovelife” on the title, and I didn’t need it then.

But now that time is swiftly turning the pages of my life’s book to my 25th birthday, and I’m starting to wonder if I was born for single blessedness or married life/committed doublehood, I remembered it, and so I dug my dusty pile, read it, and enjoyed the pieces of information I got from it.

Basta Lovelife answers relationship questions about love (like the right age to be in a relationship, dealing with rejection, same-sex relationships, etc.) and sex from a Christian’s perspective and with pieces of evidence from the Bible to support the ideas. Its aim is to help young Filipinos make wise relationship decisions.

When it comes to sex, those addicted to a premarital one may not like it because the book has a strong conviction about sexual purity. Kuya Kevin discusses why one should keep their virginity until the day they get married by comparing  purity and impurity with fresh water from a water dispenser and contaminated one from a freshly painted curb, and asks which one would people drink. He also tells sex is the highest form of intimacy and that each time people engage with it, they give a piece of themselves to each sexual partner, so just imagine what’s left to offer to their future spouse if they do it outside marriage. Sex even loses it true meaning in the process.

Likewise, the book may also receive a couple of eyebrow-raising from the close-minded people because it discusses the double standard in males and females. They say that men, unlike women, don’t lose anything in premarital sex. But the Bible, through Kuya Kevin’s simple explanation, says it is untrue. Men lose too; they lose self-control, intimacy, themselves, safety, and security. Men’s sex drive is also explained in the book to make it clear if it’s a blessing or a curse.

The book isn’t just being conservative. As Kuya Kevin says in the book, “I base my beliefs on biblical commandments and principles.” So if the Bible has no clear stand on a certain act, like kissing and masturbation, he doesn’t say no to it although he also explains the potential consequences of such. And he didn’t condemn anyone who has made the mistake of having premarital sex in the past. God, after all, forgives, as long as one will be committed to change.

Potential detractors’ reactions aside, Basta Lovelife is a must-read for people seeking a more fruitful relationship in the future, the book is after all made for them. If you want to be enlightened, too, about its subject and others that surround it, this book is recommended to be added on your book list. Its 161 pages sure have a lot to teach you.

 

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I got a shocking question from a guy friend a few weeks before reading this book: What’s your opinion about sex? It was shocking because it was the first time I got such query (He even added: I can ask anything, right?and yes, he could, I guess, since I indirectly agreed to have that Q&A session with him. But still…), so I didn’t know which part of sex I should talk about, how to start with my answer, and it was awkward for me speak about it alone with a guy.

It took me maybe about a minute to compose myself before I finally said something like: I’m open-minded about it and I can talk about it with people. I don’t even have a problem saying sexual words like penis, vagina, and sex, unlike most people who bleep them, since I don’t find anything wrong with them. I surprisingly know a lot about sex as compared to what my personality would suggest, so I can talk about sex in an educational way–although I haven’t done it yet, mind you–and laugh wild with people dropping green jokes all the time. But I won’t do it. (I just find it fulfilling to be knowledgeable about any stuff foreign to me, but no applications, please. It’s way too early for that.)

The texts on the photo sum up my stand on premarital sex.

The texts on the photo sum up my stand on premarital sex.

Later on, I started questioning myself with my answer, thinking maybe I was way too conservative that I’m now missing a lot in my life. But as I read Basta Lovelife, I began feeling proud of myself and my beliefs and I decided to hold on to them tighter ’cause I know that I’m on the right track. The book is now a favorite. 🙂

Visit Kuya Kevin’s blog at: kuyakevin.blogspot.com

 

Right is right, even if everyone is against it; and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it.

–William Penn

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Touchdown, Guards Down

Both feet finally touching the land you once thought you can only reach in your dreams can ultimately give you all the excitement in the world. But it may be helpful if you stop for a while, breathe in, breathe out, and take time to check for some warning signs first.

Epic, Simply Epic

Finally… Macau! Just a couple of years ago, we were merely happily dreaming of this place as we sit on our college classroom chairs, but now, here we are, living the dream. And oh, how cool is that, there’s a mini shuttle bus that transfers passengers from the airplane to the terminal!

It was almost midnight when we arrived at the Macau International Airport, but our energies were still soaring as if a new day just began. As girls who always get thrilled over new things and experiences, we were so full of anticipation as to what we might expect and do in that foreign land.

First things first. Documentation!

Inside the “mini shuttle bus” at the Macau International Airport. Not sure if it’s called that, though. Correct me if I’m wrong. Thank  you! (Photo by Abigail Lucas)

My friend’s DSLR and my iPod Touch out, we started taking photos in the mini shuttle bus then we got more excited when we reached the terminal. Because of the time, there were only three lines and we chose the one at the middle. While waiting, my friend told me to take a pose for a photo and so I did just that and gave the cutest smile I could come up with. After a shot, she told me she’d take another one so I happily gave another pose.

She then handed me her camera which I obligingly took and we exchanged places for her turn. Looking at the viewfinder, I started to focus my friend’s gadget. Having a bigger and heavier lens than other DSLRs, plus the fact that I am thin, always makes it hard for me to use it so it constantly takes me longer to take a shot.

Oh, someone’s shouting. But who cares, I’m busy.

“Miss! Miss!”

Focus… Focus… 1… 2… 3…

Click!

“Miss! Miss!”

Another one! Focus… Focus… It’s heavy… Foc…

Hard tap! Tap! on my right shoulder.

I lowered the DSLR, shocked, and looked at the person who distracted me.

“No camera! No camera!” said the tall, thin man in blue uniform as he waved his right hand firmly at me. An Immigration officer!

The world stopped as he went back to his post. My friend and I then fell in line again silently and looked forward to be faced with a huge board with signs, Chinese characters, and Roman letters in neon lights. Among the information that were written and posted there were reminders that cellular phones and cameras (Yes!) are not allowed in the area. The Immigration area.

“Maaaaacccc (One of my nicknames), it’s embarrassing!” My friend told me and I could only smile at her.

We kept quiet and tried to act as if nothing happened but we couldn’t, and I was quite sure I heard murmurs with the word “camera” from the people around us. Uh-oh. We were at the middle of the area and everybody surely saw what happened!

Minutes slowly passed, the lines got shorter, and we were more and more terrified. What if the Immigration officer that would look at our passports decides to have us deported back to our country?

Thank goodness what happened wasn’t such a grave mistake. We were able to pass through the officer in charge of our line and we were also able to see and experience Macau as planned but with some paranoia every now and then about taking photos in certain public places.

Oh well. So much for this (too) embarrassing experience.

Caught on cam: No Cellular Phones and No Cameras signs in neon lights. Readers, don’t try this on your travel abroad. (Photo by Abigail Lucas)

Ignorance, indeed, is never bliss (Not my first time to travel abroad but it was my first with a company so I never bothered with such before). But looking at the brighter side, flaws like this at least remind us that to err is human, therefore, we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves and others, and, hey, things like this happen so that we can have some worthwhile memories to laugh at in the future. 🙂